One day I was running down the beach with my little sister. Suddenly me and my little sister came to a fast stop and looked down at our feet and there was ... an enormous gigantic foot print. My sister shyly followed the enormous foot prints with me. It took us to this huge world. We were like tiny ants compared to the huge world. My sister was even smaller. Suddenly the world shook and me and my sister heard a whole lot of thumps. In front of us there was a gigantic giant as tall as the eiffle tower. Me and my sister ran as fast as we could home terrified to tell our mum there is a huge gaint in this world.My mum was terrified.
To Tegan
ReplyDeleteI like your story it is great.
Do you like it?
From Chloe
Tegan
ReplyDeleteYou have got some cool ideas for your 100 word challenge. The photo is quite amazing isn't it? You have used some descriptive vocabulary that is very helpful when I am reading your story because I can picture you and your sister following the footprints and then... Oh dear, very scary!
Also I can imagine how very tall it was because you compared it to something very tall.
One thing you could do to improve your story is to check your spelling before you publish, otherwise Great Job!
Mrs Scott
To Tegan
ReplyDeleteWhat did you tell your mum?
I like the way you said your sister shyly followed.
from Hayley.
To Tegan
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story. What was your little sisters name?
Next time use more puncioation.
From Fin
Hi Tegan, I like your use of great descriptives like "gigantic giant" I guess that is to give emphasis to the humongous nature of the creature you are describing.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
Great editing Tegan. I like the adjectives that you have added in red. I especially like your simile.
ReplyDeleteFrom Mrs N
To Tegan
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool story. Was this in real life? You did use a lot of adjective's check out my blog and see all the great things.
From Serena.