One cold, dark, spooky night when I was in the Elephant cage I heard a crash and saw a big shadow appear suddenly in front of me. I didn't know what the shadow was. Was it a monster? Was it a animal? Was it an alien? What was the noise? Was it a crash into the tree? I just knew this would be a spooky freaky job.
I researched it up but it looked like no one had found it before so I created a new website on the Internet and called it the fear monster.
I grabbed my torch out of my pocket. I shone it near the shadow and there was a monster
"Aaah" I shouted I set a trap but I wonder what it eats? So I chucked a bit of chilly in the trap. Two minutes later... slam went the door! "Hurrah" I cheered.I researched it up but it looked like no one had found it before so I created a new website on the Internet and called it the fear monster.
I think this is a really good piece of writing Tegan! There is excellent use of punctuation throughout which makes the story more dramatic to read and makes it really engaging.
ReplyDeletewell done!
Hi Tegan - I really like the idea of the Fear Monster, and you've described it very well.
ReplyDeleteOne way to improve even further is to always take the time to proof read your work before publishing - can you spot any missing bits of punctuation?
Keep on blogging!
Mr K (Team 100wc)
To Jordon B and Mr Kenyon
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments.
From Tegan